Facing Fear: The Second Scariest Day of My Life...So Far

In some ways, I want to get this post out of the way. I know that my experience will benefit others, so I believe it is important to share it as soon as possible. In June 2024, I had my scheduled mammogram appointment. I had been without a family doctor for a few years, and during our first appointment, she immediately said, "You need to schedule a mammogram!" she wrote that referral right on the spot as she carried on with other questions. To be honest, I almost skipped it. There was a mandatory leadership meeting at work located next to the hospital where I had my mammogram scheduled. I was anxious about being seen and questioned about my absence from the meeting. It's interesting how we choose our priorities, isn't it?

I received a follow-up call. Despite reassurances from others that it was a common occurrence and the nurse's explanation that my breast tissue was dense, and they simply needed clearer imaging, deep down inside, I had a feeling that something was not right. Something told me to take this picture at the start of this journey. They say our gut in our 6th sense, I knew something was wrong.

During the follow up appointment, they shared that they saw something that was concerning. My heart raced. While they spoke, I saw their lips moving, but the words didn't quite register. What the F*ck is happening? Surely, not to me. It felt unreal. I prayed for it to be a mistake. The drive back home that day is a hazy memory. Just a few days before my eagerly anticipated summer vacation, I underwent the biopsy. Silently, my husband and I drove to the hospital together. Occasionally, he would squeeze my hand and reassure me, saying, "It's okay, hun, everything will be fine." I spent a long time alone in that room. I pleaded with every god, every angel to keep me safe and healthy. Whenever I thought of my boys, tears streamed down my face. They completed the procedure, sent me home with an icepack tucked in my bra and said I should hear something in 7-10 days.

I spent an entire day sitting on the front porch, anxiously awaiting the phone call. When my doctor finally reached out at 5pm on a Friday, she explained that due to a global Microsoft outage, she couldn't access my full report but could confirm that the biopsy results were in. The following Monday, I found myself back on the porch, waiting patiently. When the call came, it brought the news that the biopsy had indeed confirmed the presence of cancer. The second scariest day of my life! I have breast cancer. She also explained that another spot required further examination, leading to a scheduled MRI biopsy, that was such a horrific experience. I spent another 2 weeks sitting on the porch, waiting...but fortunately, the results for the second site came back negative.

It has been a month since my surgery, i am healing well and getting stronger every day. I am forever changed...in so many ways. The pathology report revealed that I had early-stage one breast cancer. While there is no "good" kind of breast cancer, this was somewhat positive news. I am feeling both anxious and extremely grateful for the accessible medical care I am receiving here in Canada as I prepare for my first appointment with my oncologist next week. I am eager to complete my treatment and share my experience with you all soon. I followed the guidance of a friend who had experienced the same journey before. She advised me, "Nat, just take it one step at a time – second by second, minute by minute, day by day." This turned out to be the most valuable advice I received.

Could you please do me a favor? Schedule your mammogram, my friend. Book it now, book it today! My doctor informed me that breast cancer is now considered a chronic condition due to its rapidly increasing prevalence. I understand that it can be frightening, painful, and annoying, but please go ahead and make the appointment. Can you promise to do that?

Are you wondering what was the scariest day of my life was? That was the day I lost my beautiful mom forever. That story is also coming soon. xo

As always, take good care XO